Friday, February 23, 2007
I dont feel like blogging here anymore..
I have lost my interest in blogging..
Kinda feel Im talking to the wall.. Hahaha..
I shall rest for while from the blogging world..
Perhaps I might come back, perhaps not..
4:12 PM
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Tuesday, February 13, 2007
When I came down for the jog with him..
He simply hugged me..
And said,"Dear, why you so noti? Everytime,act siow. Period is it??!! Eh,I love you very much you know.."
Then I just smiled at him and said,"Sori. I love you too dear.."
Ok.. Now Neng's happy alrite.. KEKEKE..
8:17 PM
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Have you ever felt that sometimes when you felt so much pain.. And the pain is so hard to bare and you just wanna let it go.. Fine! I know im repeating myself. I know I wrote it in my previous entry.. But DUH!! Watever!! Cheh..
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Ok moving along.. Where was I?? Oh ya..
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Just wanna forget about it..
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Just wanna punch your pillow really hard.. Like you wanna make a hole in the circle of it.. Hehe..
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Just want to end things..
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Just want to take the easier way out.. Tat how I felt yesterday.. Felt like letting go.. Just forgetting about everything and just shutting it down and just let go...
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Its really really easy to calls it quits.. Its really easy to call it off..
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I sat by the window in my room. Midnight.Crying.Reflecting.Hugging my bantal busuk. I wanna type long long blog also cannot. My head spinning like mad. Angry.Sad.Fed the up.Restless. My heart felt like it going to come out any second. My tears rolling down like it could filled up the whole of Macritchie Reservoir. Oh even more reservoirs.. My anger burning as thou I can never put them out.. Its felt as thou my heart was on lava.. All charred and black.Felt that I was totally screwed. It felt like its on fire and there is no firemen to put it off. Cos he was the one who cause the outburst of human fire rage.
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People often said that women are complicated creatures. Well, I just think its same applied to men. I have yet to really master the soul of Boges. Im getting there. But not just yet. Heee... How to we make men want us so badly. Asides, being well dressed when we are with them, I think its space. Yes. i think men needs space. S-P-A-C-E. Space.
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Its not tat I have not given him tat space. Hhhmmpp.. Perhaps there is still something lacking huh.. I have to really think positive now.. Else watever that we have build will go crashing down. Sometimes, I feel like I really want to straggle him. Like really straggle him. Like really whack him upside down. I am a very rough girl. But sometimes, like when Im so called bullying him, then he gives me tat face.. Tat sad lost puppy face.. Tat oh-im-sorry-dear face.. Later he will apologise BUT then do it again..
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The question is...
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Why dont men listen.
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Sometimes, I can be telling him one thing and other mintue he will just forget it.. Like DUH!! EEEE!! Really boils me blood man.. Period.
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Bo doubt. I love Boges very much. But for just tat sometimes, I really want to bantai him.Yes. We wrestle. Well, not like WWF la.. But its really like a rough tackle.. Like rubgy I would say.. Kekeke.. Ganas Neng ni.. Betul.. He said tat he resisted in twisting my fingers and when I throw punches to his arms and all.. Or give Boges a kick to his cute butt tat makes myself laugh.. I just tot of it as couple wrestling time.. Im not a softy.. He knows tat.. He likes me cos I am sporty when in poly.. So wrestling just comes with my character with my partner..
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::*Sticks tougue out*::
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Beat beat beat him also tak guna.. Tangan aku yang sakit.. Aiyoh.. But I think he did la tolerate me.. Considering Im very rough and very boyish.. He ever play2 twist my finger and I went,"OI SAKIT LA!!!" then I beat him on his arm. He laughed. HHhhmmppp...
But Im still angry at Boges. I dont care!! Eeee!!!!
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I feel like biting his cheeks off.. Eee!!!
2:43 PM
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Yesterday I had a massive headache that I cant even blog.. I only type abit then K.O liao!! Snoring away.. Hehehe.. No I lied.. I dont snore.. kekeke.. Im up and dancing now.. Syukur.. Finish my headache!! Yippee!! Alhamdullilah... Now as you can see, I'm back with my nonsense Dear Diary.. Hehe..
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Anyway, Diary I didn't have work yesterday. I had enough sleep. Enough food. Yet I had this super mega headache at nite.. I couldnt sleep until 2am.. My head felt like exploding.. Could not seem to make it to dreamland..Have been fighting this invisible war with my pillow trying to get the best angle for my head.. Best head level for my neck.. I dont want my neck to be strained la.. The feeling of uncomfortable sleep is very the darn irritating for me... Furthermore, Im very bad tempered when it comes to sleep.. Even worst when i cant sleep while having a headache.. Later ill grumble to myself.. Sometimes, you have to check the wind direction of Neng to be able to come close to her.. *Sigh* No wonder my other nick that my family gave me is "Typhoon Girl"...
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Ill really exploded with the slightest thing that is not done properly.. Only Allah S.W.T knows how I am with my family... I heart them for always being able to tolerate my crazy actions.. Kekeke..
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Nowadays,there's lots of things on my mind. There's lots of things that I want to achieve rite now in life. A good career. A good wedding. A good husband. Be a good wife. Have a good house. I dont think I have achieve being the best that I can be yet. Or is it just me?? So the ambitious?? I dont know.. Or may I know but I just dont want to admit it to myself.. Oh gosh!! But I always think that there is always room for improvements in life. If I have not gotton my dreams or mu goals, I jolly well have to get up from this lazy couch and go get it!! Work out a plan and just go for it.. I have this really determine mind.. This really sturborn attitude when I want something done.. Once I get my head into it, its like glued to it.. Nothing can change my decision and my thinking..
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Also I have been worried about my weight.. I think Im fat.. I want to tone myself up.. Fuiyoh Neng!! Ok.. I got to think positive and realistic.. Go work out Neng!! Dont be lazy and get your butt moving.. I wanna lose weight so I better jolly well plan my diet and work out routines.. Ok that's going to be my goal for Februay.. Yes!! I will do it.. I can do it!! Insya Allah.. Yes!!!
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*Dgn semangat kentalan gitu.. kekeke..*
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Ok then about my marriage preparation.. Hmmpp.. Its is getting bit more challenging now compared to before engagement.. Ok before engagement was different.. Now its also different.. New problems.. New challenges.. New ways of tackling... And at this point I betta be focus and relaz when handling matters.. But its really difficult.. Really a test of my patience. Tolerance. And my love for Boges.. Its been a rocky road for us for these two days.. I have been angry at him. Irritated by him... Sometimes its just so hard to let go of painful memories.. Painful words that even your love ones said.. Its just locked there in my brain.. Refusing to let go.. But I am trying my best to take things into another tone.. Trying to see each day from a different light.. Seriously, I don't know if I am taking him for granted or not. Or am I the mean monster these days?? I dont know.. Its been rough for me.. Im sure its been hard for Boges too I guess..
At times, I feel its just best leaving guys all by themselves for awhile. Give them tat space.. Let them roam the world by themselves.. I think that its a good practise for us.. Its to let both parties miss each other more. Thou I want him to be close to me all the time, I still want him to miss me.. I want to be in love.. I dont want to lose that feeling...
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Through out the years being with each other,Boges and I had our fair share of arguments and disagreements.. Despite all that I still do love him... I think thou arguments its where we learn from and about each other.No doubt about that becaause I am still learning about Boges.. Im trying to master the psychology of mens' brain and their body language.
If im sitting with an expect rite now, Ill be asking him...
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1.How do Men think?
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2.What is their secrets??
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3.What can I tell from their body language?
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4.What do Men want in Women??
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5.How do I make sure he is never bored of me??
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Ok.. Neng.. When the going get tough, the tough gets going rite.. So be that tough one alrite.. Go Go Go Go Go!!! There is nothing Neng cant handle.. This is just a small tiny test Neng. Keep up the faith and hope. Insya Allah.. Things will turn out fine.. Oh ya.. and today in the evening, Im going to jog to lose some baby fats.. Kekeke..
1:50 PM
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Thursday, February 08, 2007
Sepatutnya, keluar dgn Fezah dan Zanna.. Sekali, ada cock up man.. Aisey man.. Aisey man.. So after discussion over the phone on where to eat, when to meet and whose going.. In the end, I dated Ayu. The other two ladies had other commitments that they needed to settle. Wei.. Next time ok ladies.. Set hor.. Arnold's next time round.. Insya Allah.. Jgn takut ayam tu tak kan lari.. Mesti ada Neng.. Kekkee..
:::My first shot from my Sanyo Camera:::
:::Pasal tak de lampu, wa pusing 180 degrees la.. Kekeke.. Can see our faces now?? Beta??:::
*Giggles*
Because we didnt get to eat Arnold's today, we went to Lucky Plaza for Ayam Penyet.. The closest chicken that I can find.. Hehe.. Else than KFC and MacDonalds.. I take a slow stroll when it comes to eating Fast food.. Lepas da tengok movie,"FAST FOOD NATION".
Huh kau!! Terus macam forber sikit je... Sikit je tu.. Lambat laun makan jugak la.. Now im in the process of forgetting wat comes with fast food meats... Had our girl talk there. Yadda.. Yadda.. Yadda.. Then Ayu introduced me to a product that I never know. A body spray from VS. Oh my.. Its so nice and fragrance.. Esp the one that named, Pure Seduction or something. Now that scent is a killer. Tat is a real seducer. Very sweet. Kinda sexy. Not so strong. Not overwhelming when you smell it. Just like a
relaz on corner kinda scent BUT does its job.. I wanted to buy the body spray.. Nevertheless, I tot its going to be a waste as I have some bottle of perfumes at home..
Nanti membazir lak kalau beli.. Anyway, later my "ATM Machine" will keep nagging at me..
:::I told ya, we are cam-whores. But Im definitely Worst then Ayu. LOLX:::
Aiyoh!!
Kekekke..
Sorry Boges Love.. I gossiped about you abit here..
Kekeke... Kakakka.. HHHeeeee.....
:::Alamak eh man.. Tat toilet sign spoil my picture man.. Aiyoh!!:::
Ah.. Watever la man.. Go head da... Hehe..
Toddles beautiful ladies..
Muaks!!
9:12 PM
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Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Haven been updating each other with our current life and marriage plans and yesterday was a day that we did all tat.. Ina is in pink pink pink of health.. And Raudah is in the same boat as me.. We are Aug Brides!! But dont worry girlfriend, Ill attend yr wedding.. Just make sure you attend mine.. I want yr pretty face in my wedding album tau.. Its a must!! Kekeke.. Oh ya.. I also want this blossoming darling there too.. Its a comfirm ticket for you ladies..
Enjoyed dinner. Each others company. Updates. Laughter. Simply what life suppose to be. Elated. Filled with caring and sincere friends. Alhamdullilah...
Smooches...
Tata....
12:34 PM
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Monday, February 05, 2007
Later, ill be going off for late lunch with my mom and Yadi.. I woke by by K.Rina's msg this morning.. Went home late yesterday. Didnt realise that time flies when I was having fun. Life been boring but we have to make it more interesting and more lively dont we??
Singing is fun. I love the time spent with Mizli and his tunang.. And of cos, Boges.. We sang our lungs out that nite.. I had an awesome time. Songs after songs.. We talked about marriage to health care. After tat, we had supper together at Newton. Seafood. And i love my food, esp this below. I so love chicken!!!
Boges and me reached Expo at about 6pm. After the shoe bazaar. I think I came a bit too late, the owener left her house already. The exhibition was very good.. This is my first time going for such fair. It was great.. I wanted to take picture with Alfarahizah Awangnit but shy lak aku ni.. Haven warm up wacky self yet.. When I did, I manage to take pictures with a few of them there.. Like MamaFai.. Finally, i met this lovely lady.. She bakes cupcakes.. I admire women who have the passion for baking.. Really I do. Like K.Tea, K.Diella,K.Ida,MamaDewi and many more.. These ladies are damn good cooks ok.. They are like my nearest cook books to me.. Oh ya.. not to mention, Mom you are an excellent cook too.. Hehe..
:::MamaFai, its an hounour to meet you. Thanks for the cupcake.:::
:::Pictures:::
:::Us:::
Finally, I got my henna girl booked.. I got nothing to worry about now.. But I have two more things unsettled eh.. The card and the berkats.. I could see what I liked there.. So I guess that Ill find other resources then.. All in all, yesterday was a good day.
1:09 PM
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Sunday, February 04, 2007
I wanna get pregnant!!
But not just yet.. Kekeke... Later after marriage..
Boges and I havent decided wheather we are going to have a baby straight away after marriage. I haven touch on this topic as I think its kinda early to even plan such things. I tot of giving it a few more years after marriage. You know, enjoy being a no-child-couple for awhile. Use out money just for ourselves. Pamper myself with beautiful clothes or go travelling.
Until I came across this stunning picture and I just went
"WWWwwwoooooooooo.........."
From my angle. From a girl, whose never been pregnant in her whole life. The only time I went close to a pregnancy topic was when my elder sister got pregnant with Yadi. Anyway, I think pregnancy is a wonderful and amazing journey that bonds mother and child. Its that intimicy between two humans. The child breathes what the mother is breathing. The child reacts according to the mothers behaviour. The child responces to human touch. Pregnancy and motherhood are the most vital and enriching phases in a woman’s life. They are also the most trying times in terms of changes that a woman experiences. At this important period in life, looking and feeling good will work wonders.
This picture is the future of "Neng".
(Ok hopefully. I wont look that bad.. Hehehe..)
Ok, Maybe with more cloth on my body alrite.. But still this picture is sexy..
I love it..
P/S: Perhaps I should recommend this photoshoot to K.Rina eh.. Kekeke..
3:52 AM
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Friday, February 02, 2007
THE RULES: Each player of this game starts with the '6 weird things about you.' People who get tagged need to write a post of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
Let me start this tagged thingy now.. Shall we?
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Ok write about the weirds things about me huh... Hhhmmpp..
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:::Wondering Mode:::
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Well, aside from being all hyper active and very energetic, Neng is.....
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1. I like to talk to myself.. I like to reflect upon my wrong doings.. Im something like Ally MacBeal.. I imagine alot.. I love to dream.. I feel that by dreams can release those stress lines on my face and make my life more creative and lively.. But Im not encouraging to dream while at work.. DUH!! Hehehee.. We all need to know our priority in life. And dreaming is just something I do for fun..
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So when you see Neng laughing to herself means she is imaging something.. Kekeke..
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2. I hate people who deny things which are already proven wrong. I simply cant tolerate people who dont even have a heart.. Its worst, when a person thinks that they are never wrong. When the naked truth is laid out to them and there is no possible way out, they will still die die want to deny the truth. I personally feel that if a person were to live life truly happy then one must be sincere in what they do and say. I dot think that admitting a fault is an embrassement. But it is when a person refuses to owe up, admit the mistake and learn from it.
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One tip.
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Take responsibility for yourself.
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3. Neng is someone cherish friendship alot. Ukhwah is a word that I know when I was very young. And I have lived believing in it ever since. I was ever choked while crying for a so-called friend from my past when she told me that I was just a stranger to her. Someone who I thought was a friend. Ended up not feeling the same way that I did. I guess that Im too naive at the time. I wanted to forget the whole meaning of the word,'Ukhwah'. Forget that it even existed. But who was I to fool. That is the word that binds all muslims together.. On my part, I believe that Allah S.W.T gave me that obsticle to let me overcome and be a stronger person in the near future.
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I dont mind being friends with anyone. As long as they have a good heart.
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"Kalau perangai ko buruk.. Aku kawan dgn beruk pun aku rela sak..."
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4. When I am happy,Ill march when I walk. Sometimes. Its only in the absense of others. But sometimes I got caught by my colleagues and in the end we had a good laugh together.. Hehehe... I scold myself when I know I did something wrong or if I feel that I am so bad. My fear is to not be able to see life in a wide scope. Because if a person thinks that one is too high up there, they might tend to forget to look down and remember where they came from. They might even forget who they are..
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So smack me when I am wrong. Thats what friends are for.
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But then of cos, when you are smacking some senses, pls be nice..
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Hheeeee.....
:::Shows a 'Peace' sign:::
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5. I love to eat food very slowly... I like to relaz and taste my food properly.. I used to eat very fast.. Once in a blue moon, I do eat like a glutten. But usually, Ill take my time to spoon every single scoop of rice that is on the plate. On non working days with Boges, Ill spend eating for about 40mins. Yet, not finish my food. Then who eats the rest you ask me??
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Boges.
Abathen.................
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Lastly,
6. I used to think that I was Cinderella when i was a child. Whenever my sisters argue with me and I cant fight back. Ill step back and cry at a corner. Thinking and hoping that a fairy would come and save me. Yes. A fairy came to save me. My mom, of cos..
And I also wanted to live in a jungle while im at this fairy tale thingy.. I used to want to be tarzan.. Kekekkee... That explains why I am so rough and tomboyish.
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I dont want to stop dreaming.
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Cos dreaming makes me feel as thou I am in a totally different world..
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:::Winks:::
Oh ya.. To those who tagged me before.. Im sorry k.. Now only I know whats its stands for.. Hehhee.. Dont angry.. Be happy..
:)
Now, Im going to tag these people..
1) Ayu
2) Zana
3) K.Rina
4) Cady
5) Rawdah
6) Mel
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Can I tag more then 6 people pls??
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NO!!
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:::Sticks tougue out:::
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Tak kisah.. Nak tag K.Marya, K.Eimah dan K.Ida jugak.. hehehe...
3:40 AM
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